Dear Diary

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Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Today is my 10 year wedding anniversary. I have been very sick and bed ridden for almost a week now, so I couldn’t get my husband anything. He, however, snuck down into my crafting studio and STOLE supplies to make me a lovely card. 🙂 I will forgive him.

Thinking about 10 years together with my husband has made me think of where I was 10 years ago. I was not writing anymore, having put it aside. At the time I thought I would never write again. My soul was broken not to mention my heart. They say time heals all and I am here to tell you that is a load of crap. Time heals nothing. The only thing Time does is to give you other things to think about. But those hurtful things you’re trying to cover up like a cat in a litter box are still there. There is no healing. There is only an open wound covered by a band aid that gets ripped off when a specific name, place, song, car, or word is mentioned. It’s painful and we hurry to put a fresh band aid on before anyone sees the blood.

The beauty of being broken is that you sink and are able to see the world from the bottom of the ocean. Everything moves in slow motion and nothing is as beautiful as it once was in the sun. But it has a different beauty, a dark loveliness that you learn to appreciate and accept. I am definitely not the happy girl I used to be, but I’m working on it and I have a wonderful husband and two beautiful children to show me that no matter how bad some moments in my life have been, there are millions of moments more that bring joy to my heart.

Here’s to tons of happiness in the next 10 years!!

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